from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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