don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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