At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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