you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
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One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
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She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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