dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize