Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I'm always down for nudity.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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