I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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