Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize