Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize