Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Sext me about skeletons
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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