Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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