We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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