I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize