I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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