Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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