I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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