Girls should come with a carfax report
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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