my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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