Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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