Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to

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(614): I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to http://tfl.nu/gbtt

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(616): View more from Michigan

somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.

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(616): somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult. http://tfl.nu/q2ig

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(703): View more from Virginia

Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.

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(703): Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it. http://tfl.nu/xw76

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(361): View more from Texas

She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.

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(361): She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation. http://tfl.nu/alpd

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(867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it

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(867): lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it http://tfl.nu/o5td

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(613): View more from Ontario

my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.

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(613): my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet. http://tfl.nu/v7qv

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(517): View more from Michigan

Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.

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(517): Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning. http://tfl.nu/hea7

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(407): View more from Florida

Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.

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(407): Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless. http://tfl.nu/zvko

Replies (5) Good night (1396) Bad night (688)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.

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(+44): That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard. http://tfl.nu/cdhm

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(415): View more from California

Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.

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(415): Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked. http://tfl.nu/gx9q

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(435): View more from Utah

Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.

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(435): Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday. http://tfl.nu/eusa

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(252): View more from North Carolina

We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.

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(252): We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault. http://tfl.nu/5n55

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(731): View more from Tennessee

She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?

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(731): She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club? http://tfl.nu/0go2

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev

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(270): Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev http://tfl.nu/bqo9

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(415): View more from California

I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.

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(415): I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame. http://tfl.nu/5rwn

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