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I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
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