I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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