You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he fucked my hip out of place.
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got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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