i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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