i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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