i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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