apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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