mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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