The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize