I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize