Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize