Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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