fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize