My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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