She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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