Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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