my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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