apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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