I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
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