I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize