worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
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