It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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