I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
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