why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
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I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
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You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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