What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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