it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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