i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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