I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize