Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math! http://tfl.nu/zdim
  Replies (11) Good night (1250) Bad night (424) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever. http://tfl.nu/rwuq
  Replies (38) Good night (7063) Bad night (566) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs. http://tfl.nu/g178
  Replies (36) Good night (3983) Bad night (530) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs. http://tfl.nu/lgyg
  Replies (41) Good night (4196) Bad night (1361) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear. http://tfl.nu/zxhr
  Replies (45) Good night (590) Bad night (2859) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever. http://tfl.nu/jxfd
  Replies (14) Good night (5595) Bad night (454) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm on my period, period, period

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex (703): I'm on my period, period, period http://tfl.nu/vsrk
  Replies (72) Good night (1761) Bad night (15559)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman http://tfl.nu/e120
  Replies (21) Good night (4265) Bad night (2171) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes http://tfl.nu/e457
  Replies (8) Good night (2431) Bad night (1087) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged http://tfl.nu/78pb
  Replies (16) Good night (4603) Bad night (2607) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point. http://tfl.nu/cgpy
  Replies (11) Good night (1278) Bad night (498)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya? http://tfl.nu/gd64
  Replies (5) Good night (1021) Bad night (353) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.

  (712): View more from Iowa

  What's an angry pirate?

  (702): View more from Nevada

  You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again. (712): What's an angry pirate? (702): You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever. http://tfl.nu/pzvl
  Replies (31) Good night (1027) Bad night (1469)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (641): Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit. http://tfl.nu/0tmo
  Replies (8) Good night (991) Bad night (357) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all. http://tfl.nu/2na6
  Replies (2) Good night (326) Bad night (546) Order T-Shirt

Randomize