Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
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