There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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