I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize